When the Rain Falls, and a Recipe for Sugared Spelt Cut-Out Cookies

I sent my baby to kindergarten today. 

We woke up to rain falling, softly.  A dark, grey morning, the sun seemed unwilling to get up.  But we all brushed, dressed, pulled on new socks, shoes. 

We kissed.  We said the important things, the I-love-yous, and God-loves-you and always-remember-that.  And then I watched her proudly lead the line of kindergartners upstairs, her backpack slung high.  She was ready to go.

And still, the rain fell, softly, down my cheeks.

There are moments in life where deep joy and deep grief are twisted together, forming a braid that is as strong as it is beautiful.  Allowing both to pierce your hearts is what keeps your heart soft enough to open, soft enough to love, soft enough to break.

I know this because I know a little something about saying goodbye.  I have said goodbye enough times, to enough people, to enough worlds, to know.  I know that life is full of these moments, when a door shuts, when an airplane takes off, when a mother kisses you goodbye. 

So, I spent the morning doing small things with my little, precious toddler:  building towers, reading books, making cookies.  Why does baking soothe the soul?

 

 

 

 

And I spent some time remembering the years when it was just me and her. 

 

 

 

 I let myself be pierced.  Grieving is a celebration of yesterday's joy, but it is the only path into tomorrow's beauty.




And I let myself laugh, as I stumbled onto strange little presents she had left behind. 



Soon, I will pick her up and she will giggle when she eats these little cookies, my something sweet to greet her on her first day of kindergarten. And there will be hugs and stories and dinner and baths, and soon this day will melt away, just like it started. 

 

And I will tuck her into bed. 

Sugared Spelt Cut-Out Cookies

6 tbsp. butter, melted
1/2 cup coconut sugar
1 large egg, organic or pastured preferred
1/2 tsp. pure vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups sprouted spelt flour
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. sea salt

Optional:  raw sugar, or sprinkles

1.  Beat butter, coconut sugar, egg and vanilla together, until smooth.

2.  Mix in remaining dry ingredients, until soft dough forms.

3. Pat into a disk, cover, and refrigerate for one hour.

4.  Roll out onto a floured circle and cut into shapes.  Sprinkle with sugar.  Preheat oven to 350 F. Bake on a baking sheet or stone for 8-12 minutes, depending on the size of your cookies, just until slightly browned. 


“It is by loving and not by being loved that one can come nearest to the soul of another.” 
  --George MacDonald



Shared on:  Pennywise Platter, Thank Your Body Thursday, Fat Tuesday, Traditional Tuesday, Real Food Wednesday,